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We all know that infidelity is a potent relationship-destroyer, an atom bomb that few unions withstand. In pointing fingers, about 12 percent of both sexes say that their partner cheated on them-which hints that many ladies are too optimistic about their man's whereabouts at this very second.

Women were almost three times as likely as men to say that their partner's cheating caused a lasting tension and lack of trust.

Men are either more forgiving or just harder up: Only 6 percent of male cheatees say their sex lives were worse after their partner's infidelity. Ironically, a wandering partner may be doing you a big favor.

The 50-somethings aren't special; most other age groups saw a drop in their frequency of sex, too. Save Money: Get AARP member discounts on travel, shopping and more The chill isn't confined to the bedroom, sadly. Consider that the number of 45 Americans who believe that only married people should have sex has dropped by nearly half in five years-from 41 percent in 1999 to 22 percent in 2009.

The percentage of people who say they engage in affectionate acts like hugging, kissing, and caressing at least once a week also fell between 20. What's more, fewer survey respondents agree that "there's too much emphasis on sex today" than they did in 2004 (though maybe Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction at the 2004 Super Bowl had us fed up back then). Research has long shown that money worries sap sex, and with the recent unemployment scourge, yo-yoing 401(k)s and rampaging foreclosures, there's been no shortage in worries.

More likely, it trumps living with someone who has stopped trying.

"When people are dating, they are 'auditioning'," says Dr. "Unfortunately, many long-term couples start to put away those little affectionate details and take each other for granted.

"Sometimes a crisis shows you what is really important," says Schwartz.

"Infidelity is sometimes caused by each person, or by one person in particular withholding love, affection and sex.

Pepper Schwartz, a sexologist at the University of Washington in Seattle and AARP's love and relationships ambassador.

"It's hard for some people to feel warm and sexy when they are afraid of losing their home-or they have already lost their job!

Using a random sample of 1,670 Americans ages 45 and older, it revealed exactly what older Americans do behind closed doors (and plenty of other places), as well as their honest opinions about things you'd typically get punched, slapped, or arrested for asking. Baby, It's Cold Inside Wondering if you're the only person in the country whose sex life has taken a dive even though you're healthy, hardy, and still highly interested in your partner? It seems that there's been an alarming drop in our nookie sessions.


 
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